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To promote this new extreme sport, Shattco is working with ESPN to bring Lawn Tractor Jousting in to the public eye. Shattco is sponsoring “The Shattco Medieval Motorized Games” which will be televised on ESPN’s “Select Event: Being Extreme” which will be used as a filler when ever ESPN has absolutely nothing else to show worth watching. The first ever SMMG will be held in the ample parking lot facilities of the Super Shattco Store (the store that only sell things people really want) in Lowville, PA.
Shattco has gone to great lengths to make this initial event memorable. Shattco has converted the remnants of “Bob’s Circus” into Mortimer’s Medieval Menagerie with many of the old favorite acts to entertain you and your wench or fair maiden ( er, what ever you think she is).

Expect the finest in Medieval entertainment. All the old favorites… the mud show… the jester commentary… the bard of the day. Rental clothing will be available so you can really get into the Medieval spirit!  <<<Ciga-Beer will be available in mass quantities for contestants. Check out the newest "Hepcat 2000 Chopper" Jousting Tractor only from Shattco. >>> $25,995.00

The Shattco Nerfalized Jousting Lance – The latest in modern jousting equipment. The ultimate is jousting safety. The lance is constructed of a hard rubber core with a dense nerfalized casing. Blow for blow, the safest lance in production today.  $125.99 per case of 2
Shattco Errant Knight Wardrobe – The finest in jousting armor. Better than the stuff used by the actor in “A Knight’s Tale”. This armor has a quasi-titanium core that is harder than Ben Grim’s head and lighter than Molly Shannon’s. The outside is plasticized with a new proprietary Shattco process called "fandangleization"; it's  a polymer coating that creates a totally non-stick surface. It is so resilient and non-stick that solid blows bounce right off or are deflected resulting in minimal trauma. His & Hers matched set of errant armor: $1569.95.   individual errant armor : $1325.95 per set   Shattco family crest engraving included in all orders!

     NEW!!!:  The Shattco Jousting Bumper System – Turn any lawn tractor into your trusty steed. This universal conversion kit is designed for the extreme. It is built to protect you and your underlying steed from death and destruction !!!     $995.00

The Proud History of Lawn Tractor Jousting: The first documented example of mower -based jousting has been traced back to this 1960's photo of a confused but determined local television celebrity on his home built jousting machine. This early jousting event took place at the old Lowville train & grain station, which coincidentally is the current site of the new Super Shattco / Mortimers's Medieval Menagerie complex. As this photo demonstrates, even old-timers will get into the spirit of Medieval Jousting at the Shattco Superstore.

Bring your lawn tractor for an almost free retrofit appraisal….  Buy all of the accoutrements…  Have a Great Day

As usual, Shattco is not responsible for any damage that may occur…  Of course, there are no guarantees, implied or otherwise, concerning the safety of the Shattco jousting equipment. Contestants will be required to sign a $1,000,000 Shattco Insurance Liability Policy in order to participate in this event. This service will be supplied to contestants for a mere fee of three easy payment of $69.95.

This message is approved & endorsed by Hot Mont:  President and Supreme Commander of HOMOCO Enterprises