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HOMOCO
BUYS OUT INVENTORY FROM ILL-FATED VARIETY STORE
CHAIN
by
Rhineholt Pierpont Burgermeister III, esq.
The Hot Mont Society 2000 has unearthed
even more product released by the ill-fated company
`HoMoCo”, a company that Hot Mont's financial advisors
started .
This all
appears to have taken place in the early
1980's. |
Rhineholt P.
Burgermeister III
is a
"regular" columnist for the "Groovy Scene Magazine"
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for a full
catalog page of Shattco products and services, click here
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Some of the already chronicled products released
in South America were the notorious “Combat
Teaset”, which had small gunpowder charges built
into the handle & injured many people, along with
the “Bad Mood Neck Rings”…plastic
“mini-hula-hoops” that had no more ability to assess
someone's mood than to bring about world peace. Not to
mention "The Hot Mont Cafe"
chain
The latest crop of HoMoCo products unearthed
comes from Deutschland. These were discovered
while HMS2000 investigators were digging up info on the
alleged techno album called |
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“Perpetual
Intro” that Mont & several other musicians
recorded in Hamburg, Germany in the mid seventies. Not only
did they verify the album's existence (at least in unreleased
form), but also stumbled onto a sort of “mini-cult” built
around another horrible HoMoCo product line that was
originally intended to be marketed to Americans who planned to
travel in Europe.
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This line of products was old stock bought up by
Homoco from a company called Chattco, headed up
by eccentric Naples, Florida entreprenuer Will Shatt.
The product line was originally sold at Shatt's
fledgling novelty store chain in Florida, (some
long-time Floridians may remember the stores' slogan
& radio jingle: "Shatt: "Only People
Would Want".
These products dealt with the disposal of the
rather “socially unacceptable” by-product: bodily waste.
Using their chronic lack of worldly wisdom, the
“powers-that-be” at Shattco decided that most European
countries were still living on the dark ages
where second floor balconies on narrow streets
served as dump-offs
for chamber pots (often on passerby's heads). |
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In other words, Sattco , and later, HoMoCo decided that they didn't have
plumbing in Europe yet!
So, to
service this misperceived need, they invented and marketed a
line of products which would allow you to “relieve yourself”
pretty much anywhere, anytime.This line was collectively
called “The Shatt Pack”. And consisted of “The Shatt
Mat”, “The Shytt Mytt” and “The Shatt-
Back- Pack”. A later released addition to the product line
was called "Snout-Grout"., as well as development on
another even more ridiculous product called "Butt
Putty".
The
Germans found this whole product line so amusing that several
alternative papers there ran hilarious hoax ads. In next
month's article we'll print some of these hoax ads (complete
with the original German to English translations, which
only add to the humor!).
-Rhineholt Pierpont Burgermeister III,
esq. |
