HOMOCO BUYS OUT  INVENTORY FROM ILL-FATED VARIETY STORE CHAIN
by Rhineholt Pierpont Burgermeister III, esq.  
 The Hot Mont Society 2000 has unearthed even more product released by the ill-fated company `HoMoCo”, a company that Hot Mont's financial advisors started .
This all appears to have taken place in the early 1980's.


Rhineholt P. Burgermeister III
 is a "regular" columnist for the "Groovy Scene Magazine"

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Some of the already chronicled products released in South America were the notorious “Combat Teaset”, which had small gunpowder charges built into the handle & injured many people, along with the “Bad Mood Neck Rings”…plastic “mini-hula-hoops” that had no more ability to assess someone's mood than to bring about world peace. Not to mention  "The Hot Mont Cafe" chain

The latest crop of HoMoCo products unearthed comes from Deutschland.  These were discovered while HMS2000 investigators were digging up info on the alleged techno album called
“Perpetual Intro” that Mont & several other musicians recorded in Hamburg, Germany in the mid seventies. Not only did they verify the album's existence (at least in unreleased form), but also stumbled onto a sort of “mini-cult” built around another horrible HoMoCo product line that was originally intended to be marketed to Americans who planned to travel in Europe.
This line of products was old stock bought up by Homoco from a company called Chattco, headed up by eccentric Naples, Florida entreprenuer Will Shatt.
The product line was originally sold at Shatt's fledgling novelty store chain in Florida, (some long-time Floridians may remember the stores' slogan & radio jingle: "Shatt: "Only People Would Want".

These products dealt with the disposal of the rather “socially unacceptable” by-product: bodily waste. Using their chronic lack of worldly wisdom, the “powers-that-be” at Shattco decided that most European countries were still living on the dark ages where second floor balconies on narrow streets served as dump-offs for chamber pots  (often on passerby's heads).
  In other words, Sattco , and later, HoMoCo decided that they didn't have plumbing in Europe yet!

So, to service this misperceived need, they invented and marketed a line of products which would allow you to “relieve yourself” pretty much anywhere, anytime.This line was collectively called “The Shatt Pack”. And consisted of “The Shatt Mat”,  “The Shytt Mytt” and “The Shatt- Back- Pack”. A later released addition to the product line was called "Snout-Grout"., as well as development on another even more ridiculous product called "Butt Putty".

The Germans found this whole product line so amusing that several alternative papers there ran hilarious hoax ads. In next month's article we'll print some of these hoax ads (complete with  the original German to English translations, which only add to the humor!).

-Rhineholt Pierpont Burgermeister III, esq.

   
   


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